Kate Gosselin is still reeling from the physical and emotional effects of a frightening injury sustained while competing on FOX's grueling Special Forces: World's Toughest Test.
"I'm still so pissed. I'm so angry," Gosselin tells PEOPLE. "I was out and it was done before it even started."
During episode 1 of the boot camp reality series, the Kate Plus 8 star, 47, and her costars were tasked with falling backward out of a helicopter into open water.
"Water and height are two of my absolute fears," she says. "Yet at some point making that turn in that helicopter, I remember thinking, "I'm sorry, you don't have a choice here. I know you're scared to death, you're doing it. Do it and get it over with."
Gosselin did — and immediately knew something was wrong.
"I landed right on my neck and I screamed when I landed because it was absolute ridiculous pain," she recalls. "Then at some point I started feeling nauseous and I was dry heaving over the edge into the water."
She continues, "Everyone by then on the cast was like, 'I think you should probably say something.' I was like, 'No,' because I knew if I said something I was going to... well, I didn't know I was going to be out. So I braved through it and it just kept getting worse."
Gosselin, who has a medical background, begrudgingly decided to seek help.
"I knew, being a nurse, that I had to go get checked out and make sure there was no lifelong injury there," she says. "My neck still bothers me sometimes. It is muscle. I do tend to carry stress in my neck and shoulders. So I do think that that probably was a factor in it, then hitting it smack dab on the water."
The injury forced the mom of twins and sextuplets out of the competition.
"It took me so long to get over that," she says. "I still don't think I am. Because I really wanted to challenge myself."
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Special Forces: World's Toughest Test — which also recruited former NFL star Danny Amendola, the Spice Girls Melanie "Mel B" Brown, The Bachelorette's Hannah Brown, celebrity chef Tyler Florence, NBA star Dwight Howard, R&B star Montell Jordan, 7th Heaven's Beverley Mitchell, Real Housewives of Atlanta's Kenya Moore, former MLB star Mike Piazza, Celebrity Rehab host Dr. Drew Pinsky, former Trump White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci, Zoey 101 star Jamie Lynn Spears and Olympians Gus Kenworthy, Nastia Liukin and Carli Lloyd — airs Wednesdays at 8 p.m. ET on FOX.
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January 05, 2023 at 11:20PM
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Kate Gosselin on the Scary Injury That Forced Her Special Forces Exit: 'I'm Still So Angry' - PEOPLE
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