In many countries we are struggling with a winter Covid surge and the UK has been hit very hard this month. In our first two weeks, I have had 20% of my management team off sick and a bunch of people suddenly plunged into a child care crisis. This has had an impact on resources, on project management on day to day services. We worked very quickly to recalibrate what we are doing, what was a priority and recruited temporary staff to buffer the gaps. We want to take care of our staff and make sure that our clients’ needs are met. These two goals, usually totally congruent, inevitably take a bit of a squeeze when short staffed. I’m not alone. Talking to many colleagues and those working in health care and front line services right now, there is an extraordinary pressure to perform with less, to triage and work to imperatives, not ‘nice to haves’. It is taking its toll across the health services, the police force, supermarket staff and more. There is talk of long term impact on mental health, with risks to employee wellbeing that might become more evident when we go back to our daily routines.
So with everyone on a short fuse, there’s increased risk of minor disagreements tipping into long term conflict. The power dynamics at play can make a bad situation worse and for teams to survive this terrible ordeal with relationships intact, we might need to self-reflect. In this article I’m going to some insight around the unhelpful power dynamics I’ve observed in my work as an Organizational Psychologist, and some examples of when it goes wrong and right. Spoiler alert, the answer isn’t that managers must do more as so much HR guidance seems to say.
Exploiting Modern Management Styles
I recently encountered a team leader who had been very supportive of a direct report, who had been signed off with stress, offered access to counselling and the team leader was in fact picking up extra work to facilitate their leave. They were then accidentally cc’d in an email to the whole team from the direct report, who said he had not been well supported.
Another similar story is that of a retail manager who was called unkind and unreasonable by her staff because she was unable to give an employee the weekend off at only 48 hours notice (yet none of these staff members would cover the shifts).
There is trouble brewing between colleagues. Those who are taking time off for childcare versus those who are manning the fort, for example. I heard a complaint from a senior manager that while we are running around to support those with youngsters at home, those who do not have kids could do with more appreciation for their continuity. I've heard of an employee who overshares his own difficulties without filter, expecting excessive sympathy from colleagues who have been significantly bereaved but do not wish to tell others, and then going on to act aggrieved if he hasn't felt "heard".
People who have been furloughed feel ostracised and anxious, creating more ‘us and them’ type problems for the team, even though this might have been necessary for the business to stay afloat. I have also come across a few tales of furloughed staff being offered connection and support and turning it down, only to then complain that it didn’t happen.
People are suffering right now and the cracks are showing. Yet how much of this must be absorbed by managers? How much leeway should we give before acting to manage the impact on team culture? I don't think its about whether to act, I think it's about how we go about it. So much of current management training focuses on a pseudo-parental style of leadership. One in which everyone must feel taken care of and listened to and where the boss must be magnanimous and on top of their patience game at all times, never showing a chink in the armour. This style is intended to counter bad management which emerged from old fashioned patriarchal work cultures, but these may not relate to your current situation. There is indeed evidence to suggest that Servant Leadership paradigms disadvantage disabled, female, Black and other minoritized leaders because we don’t need the correction and wind up feeling forced to serve, rather than able to assert boundaries. Teams often bond by having an eye roll about something their boss has said, or different team members. That may be harmless enough from time to time, but how quickly do they become an in group and it turn into bullying and manipulation? I have known managers who would let mistakes go and deadlines be missed because they were afraid of not being liked. Their employees knew this and were able to use it to their own advantage. In the best of times this can turn into toxic cultures, in an international crisis it might be the end of the team cohesion, the start of burnout or worse.
Don’t Play The Game
So to colleagues and managers who have been cast in the oppressor role or are struggling with conflicts breaking out, I would advise disengaging from The Drama Triangle all together. Drama Triangle patterns of victim, rescuer and persecutor can be quite deep for you and your staff; it might be triggered by past scenarios that are nothing to do with work, or the current crisis.
The antidote to these games is to stay in adult mode. Be firm, fair and consistent with boundaries. Don’t let it become personal and seek mediation or action if necessary. A transparent de-brief can work wonders if sulking has taken hold. It is within your remit to address examples like those above and indeed you must, before they impact your wellbeing and others. If the ire is directed at you, you don’t need to just accept it, you’re not a parent. Be mindful about who you confide in and rather than seeking out allies on the same team, consider a mentor who works at a more senior level or perhaps for a trusted other company if you need a sounding board. It’s essential right now as stress levels raise everyone’s trigger points to the fore, and people fall back into archetypal, familiar patterns of coping with conflict, some of which can be deeply unhelpful at work. The best thing you can do right now is avoid the drama yourself and remember the golden rule – rescuing is not management, even when it feels expected.
When It Works
One employee I know predicted that her ability to work would be severely compromised with her two very young children now at home during a lockdown and her father also ill, so worked out what she thought was possible for her personally before chatting with her team to see what they could take on and calculating a cost neutral temp for the gaps. She did all that before coming to her boss for discussion and approval of the temporary fix.
A colleague who was worried about his team members on furlough took time to call them every week and started an evening online quiz to help them all feel that they were still connected, even though he was overstretched during the daytime hours.
A supermarket manager who knew that a member of staff had suffered significantly with Covid in the first wave and was terrified of a worse second infection, quietly moved his shifts off packing duties for the January surge, to a role where he could work from home and self-isolate whilst calling online customers to help them resolve queries.
Proactive, mature problem solving makes a huge difference. Work cultures where everything is rolled up for the omnipotent parent boss to resolve are toxic, both before the pandemic and after. They do not result in long term productivity, strong performance or sustainable wellbeing. They are utterly dependent on that boss being consistently good and on top of their game, which is a risk if that boss is a rescuer or a persecutor/victim.
To The Tired Bosses Right Now, I See You
So I have this note to all the tired bosses out there at the end of a troublesome month, wondering when this will end, trying to write budgets for a year no one can yet predict and handle pastoral care conflicts. I see you.
Do not be afraid to be vulnerable, you can factually state the difficult decisions on your plate and your own workload authentically without losing face. Actually, this is likely to inspire trust, not undermine it. Talk to your staff about the business holding lots of confidential information about different needs which cannot be shared, for example bereavements and illnesses, but you need them to have a bit of faith in your judgment and share openly if they have needs, rather than waiting to be spotted. Your additional salary as a manager does not oblige you to do all the work no one else has time for; it relates to holding more accountability and responsibility for the bigger picture so don’t take on all the extra tasks, you won’t last the distance. Your staff are adults, you can trust them to come up with solutions to shared team problems if you ask. Ask them. It’s not all on you and it could be really empowering and confidence boosting to help out; you cannot pour from an empty cup. You don’t have to roll up to your own boss either, reach out to colleagues in different departments or teams, they will have many of the same predicaments and might have thought of some good ideas.
I’ve asked my team to practice ‘pre-forgiveness’ – which means to predict that we are going to make mistakes, say things in a hasty way, forget to acknowledge or respond quickly. I’ve asked us all to not take things to heart right now, exchange apologies and remember that we are all in the same storm but have very different boats in terms of coping resources. This winter is long. In a crisis, being able to share problems across rather than rolling everything up and down, taking an adult, solution-focused approach and giving each other professional courtesy will help us make our workplaces a safe port in a storm.
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Pandemic Power Dynamics: Management Tips On Preventing Toxic Team Culture In A Long Haul Crisis - Forbes
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